Should You Let Your Child Win When You Play Games With Them?
The answer? Yes... and no.
Games are a fun and natural way to bond with your child—but they also offer valuable lessons. One of those lessons is learning how to lose gracefully. Like every other skill, handling both winning and losing takes practice. That’s why it’s important to strike the right balance between letting your child win and letting them experience the reality of losing.
Why This Matters Children often play their first games at home, and parents or caregivers are their first role models.
This means you play a key role in teaching them how to:
• Take turns
• Follow rules
• Handle disappointment
• Show kindness in both victory and defeat Done thoughtfully, game time becomes more than just entertainment—it becomes a powerful social-emotional learning experience.
5 Ways to Teach Healthy Game Play
1. Focus on the game, not the outcome Make it about having fun, learning new skills, and spending time together—not just winning.
2. Model good reactions React calmly when you lose. Don’t brag when you win. Your child is always watching and learning from you.
3. Teach empathy Talk about how losing might feel and how important it is to be kind, no matter the outcome.
4. Praise effort and fair play Celebrate your child’s good sportsmanship, effort, and positive attitude—regardless of the final score.
5. Practice regularly Play often and use different scenarios to discuss appropriate responses. Even a simple role-play can be a great learning tool.
Playing Games with Younger Children (Ages 2–7)
For toddlers and preschoolers, the goal isn’t “winning” a game—it’s learning how to play one.
This includes:
• Taking turns
• Following simple rules
• Beginning to count and move pieces
• Understanding that games can be fun regardless of who wins At this stage, it’s perfectly okay (and often beneficial!) to let them "win" sometimes.
If your 3-year old miscounts and moves 10 spaces instead of 6, let it go. What matters more is their engagement and enjoyment. Sometimes, the game may not even make logical sense—but that’s fine!
The learning lies in the interaction, not the outcome. Playing Games with Older Children (Ages 7+) By age 6 or 7, children become more attuned to rules and fairness.
They want games to be played “the right way.”
At this stage, it’s important to:
• Start playing by the actual rules
• Let them win sometimes (especially in adult-advantaged games), but not always
• Keep the tone fun and collaborative Be mindful: in games where adults are likely to win due to skill or strength, continue to ensure your child feels encouraged rather than defeated. If needed, get creative—maybe your acting skills come into play when they need a little win!
The Ekaiva Perspective
At Ekaiva Montessori, we see games as more than pastimes—they are purposeful learning tools. Whether it's seriation, turn-taking, counting, or emotional development, every interaction is an opportunity for growth. We believe in meeting the child where they are, following their lead, and guiding them with empathy and respect.
Our certified Montessori educators bring intentionality into every activity— including games—nurturing curiosity, independence, and resilience. Come play and grow with us.